It's one thing to be punctual. It's another entirely to do what Kristen Bell did not long ago when she arrived super-duper early for her interview with Good Housekeeping — a full day early, to be exact. "If you received a prank call, it was me," she says with a chuckle when she shows up at an organic eatery in the hip Los Angeles enclave Los Feliz the next day, explaining the mysterious, muffled voicemail she left after realizing she'd shown up 24 hours ahead of schedule. "I was too embarrassed to say anything!"
The reason for the brain fog? "Mom hormones," she says, removing her helmet (she pedaled over on a cute mint-green cruiser) and then nodding at her fuller-than-usual bustline. A little over four months ago, after a grueling 33 hours of labor, Kristen, 34, gave birth to Delta, her second daughter with her husband of a year and a half, Dax Shepard, 40. The actorsalso have daughter Lincoln, 2, named after both the car and the president. (Delta's unusual moniker came from a pal, Kristen says: "Dax's friend texted, 'Are you going to pick another badass name, like 'Delta Force'?' Dax went, 'Ooh! Delta!'")
In all fairness, Kristen also happens to be juggling a lot. She's been everywhere lately: playing schemer Jeannie Van Der Hooven on Showtime's House of Lies, which wrapped for the season in March; cohosting the Independent Spirit Awards, the indie-film world's answer to the Oscars; and reprising her role as Frozen's spunky Princess Anna in the new animated short, Frozen Fever. (She'll soon do the same in the Disney hit's much-anticipated sequel, Frozen 2.)
With Don Cheadle on "House of Lies."
Right now she's shooting the big-screen comedy, Michelle Darnell, with actress Melissa McCarthy. "I'm nowhere near being able to hang with her," she says reverentially of her hilarious costar, a friend of Dax's from their improv days in the L.A. troupe, The Groundlings. "She is dynamite."
But then, so's Kristen. Since starting a family with Dax, the Huntington Woods, Michigan, native, who made her name on the cult-hit TV showVeronica Mars, has made a point of choosing quality projects that are worth her taking time away from home. "It's not like my priorities have changed," she says. "I still want to be a storyteller." But she's firm with her boundaries. Earlier this year, Kristen delayed a script reading with McCarthy to finish a family vacation. "I told my agent, 'My baby's four weeks old. I'm not putting my kids on hold right now, even for a couple of hours,'" she says.
Dax and the girls are never far from mind. Before tucking into lunch, she peeks at her smartphone. "I want to make sure nothing has blown up," she says, pressing Send on a quick text-message to Dax. Her screen features a recent photo of the whole family, smiling with their eyes closed: "That's the way Lincoln thinks you're supposed to take pictures."
To say kids have transformed their lives is a complete understatement, Kristen says: "Our dinner parties have changed. Now they involve guests who are in diapers and are a lot pickier. The other day, Dax said, 'Where did we get all these kids?'" She laughs. "It's weird to me that all of a sudden I have a family of four. I own two people!"
"Lincoln looks a little like me," says Kristen (here as a tot) of her firstborn.
"Our life has taken a turn, but not in a bad way," she continues. "I yearn for more one-on-one time and romantic outings with my husband, but the kids have added a lot more excitement and a different kind of fun." Will they have more? Nope: "I loved being pregnant — but I don't want to be outnumbered!"
Typical Kristen, as candid as ever. Over lunch with Good Housekeeping, she tackled every question tossed her way (see excerpts from the chat below), offering intimate details about her second delivery (Delta took her sweet time!), life at home with her daughters and her couples' counseling sessions with Dax. "I don't mind advertising a healthy marriage," Kristen says. "I'm trying, just like everyone else."
I wasn't positive I wanted kids. But I can now confirm having them is absolutely unmissable.
Before we had the girls, I asked a few people in my life who are annoyingly blunt and honest on every level if we should, knowing that if it wasn't worth it, they'd have the balls to say, "Listen, don't. Live your life." But across the board, everyone said it was unmissable. When Lincoln came out, at first I was like, Eh, what do I do with it? I can take it home? But when I started breast-feeding, the oxytocin or my hormones or hundreds of thousands of years of evolution kicked in. I didn't want to let her go. Having kids feels like that first seventh-grade crush that overwhelms every molecule in your body, but it's permanent.
You don't get free time as parents; Dax hasn't gone to the bathroom solo in three months, because Lincoln is obsessed with him! But other than the sleep deprivation in the beginning and trying to figure out how not to screw your kid up, the rewards are mountains larger than the battles. Lincoln just started singing her ABC's yesterday. I left the house and she was singing a sloppy version of it, and I just had a huge grin on my face.
On "Veronica Mars" (2004).
I'm not frantic about my career anymore.
I've gotten off that treadmill of Let me read the next script; I hope they give me a chance for this part. I still want to do really good, creative work, but I'm not nervous about it, because I get my self-esteem from [providing for] my children now. The girls need us, and feeling needed is a good feeling. In our house, we get our self-esteem from performing [kind], esteemable acts. When you're feeling egotistical, our rule is that you have to drop it and help someone else.
In the film "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" (2008).
In Frozen, I wanted to see a princess similar to who I was as a kid.
When I was young, I bit my fingernails and was clumsy. I did not have good posture. That's why I initially rejected the perfection of Anna [the way she was initially written]. We had a completely different script when I signed on. My character was very princess-y, very entitled, and the sisters Anna and Elsa were enemies.
Before the project started, I said, "No, she's got to be goofy." After that, the filmmakers and I had a few conversations about how we could reroute it. Once we got to the dynamic of making Elsa misunderstood and different, and having Anna refuse to believe her sister did anything wrong, it felt right. It's a story about sisterhood, which, whether by blood or not, is this invisible line that pulls you to someone. I have it with my girlfriends; I have it with my stepsisters. It'll be a special day years from now when I sit my daughters down and show them this movie.
As the voice of Anna in "Frozen."
I really wanted to have a vaginal birth with Delta after my earlier cesarean with Lincoln.
Listen, giving birth is fine. Of course it sucks — you don't want to go through it every Saturday — but it's fine. But with Delta, it was like a marathon.
My belly is extremely comfortable; neither of my girls wanted to come out of it. Lincoln was born via C-section, but with Delta, I wanted a vaginal birth, because I wanted to be able to come home and carry Lincoln. I did not want my toddler to feel rejected because Mommy couldn't lift her for five or six weeks or whatever. That was my priority.
So, when I woke up one morning with cramps, I knew I was in labor. Eighteen hours later, by midnight, we got to the hospital. I had an epidural and felt great. Eventually I was at seven centimeters, which is pretty far, but nothing was happening. I started walking around, which is [like a message to the baby]: "Get out! It's eviction-notice time!" But I did that for three hours with no progression.
Finally, after checking the baby's position with an ultrasound, the doctor told Dax, "I need to take her for the C-section." I bawled for 10 minutes. I was so disappointed. I tried really hard! But she came out beautifully. They put her on my chest, and I was so happy that everybody was safe and sound.
The gift of the Magi is that when I got home, Lincoln didn't care that I couldn't pick her up! She couldn't have cared less.
I thought I would be anti-vaccination before I had kids.
I'm very crunchy, and happily so. But there is a lot of scientific, proven information out there that shows why vaccinations are necessary. Kids with autoimmune diseases, kids who are receiving cancer treatments — they can't be vaccinated because their immune systems [can't handle it]. If your kid has leukemia, he can't get vaccinations; if he then goes to school with my kid and I chose not to give my kid vaccinations, I'm putting your kid at risk. To me, that's unacceptable. There are the weak among us whom we have to protect. As moms, our responsibility is not just to our kids — it's to all the other kids, too.
People often misplace fear. Your child is 100 times more likely to be struck by lightning than to have a severe reaction to a vaccine. That's a fact.
I still have 17 pounds to go to get back to my pre-Delta weight.
But I'm going to let it come off naturally. I'll work out and eat healthy, but I'm not desperate to shed the weight. Body image is what you make of it. I refuse to compare myself to anyone anymore. I've done it; it didn't make me feel good. I don't like comparison hangovers. I've actually lost weight more quickly this time around. I think it's because Lincoln keeps me really active. She's fast, man. She runs, she walks, she sasses me all the time. She's a wonderful handful.
A hot face towel in the morning is the "spa" I have time for…
I do that and apply moisturizer. When I was pregnant, I didn't need moisture at all, but your body chemistry changes the minute the baby comes out. I find Neutrogena's Hydro Boost [she's the face of their Naturals skin-care line] soaks right in. I put on SPF and bronzer, then deal with these shaggy bangs that I'm still figuring out what to do with.
Baby sign language classes have been beneficial for Lincoln's brain and our family's sanity.
From maybe 10 months to 18 months, babies know what they want, but don't know how to say it. That's the reason temper tantrums start. But they can learn to sign. Lincoln started classes when she was 10 months old. She signed in full sentences before she talked. One time she was watching some off-roading video over Dax's shoulder, and she looked at him and signed, "Daddy, more motorcycles, please." It was awesome.
Every annoying cliché my mother has ever thrown my way has come to be.
I never understood my mom until I had kids. When she would look at me like I was the first drop of water she'd seen at the end of a desert trip and go, "You will never understand how much I love you," I would go, "God, get away! Enough!" Even in my 20s, I just thought, "You're so dramatic and overly sentimental." Now I look at my kids that way and think, "Wow, this is a cycle." Lincoln won't understand it until she decides to have kids … that's just the way it's supposed to be. Motherhood right-sized everything for me. I'm happier, and I was pretty happy before.
This story originally appeared in the May 2015 issue of Good Housekeeping.
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